Have you ever found yourself more comfortable confessing to someone behind the screen than meeting a person and admitting how you felt? How many times have you spoken your mind and feelings directly to someone?
There are many things we want to say in person, but hold ourselves back and somehow cannot say them out loud. A secret, an apology, a personal opinion, or a love confession we are afraid of letting out. Words we wish to express, thoughts we wish to be heard, and feelings we wish to be sensed, but we cannot admit even to our family, siblings, friends, or to the person. Sometimes, typing those words behind the screen feels much easier than sitting in front of someone and confessing face-to-face.
But why does a screen sometimes make honesty feel safer?
Behind the Safety of a Screen
One reason is distance. When we communicate online, we are physically separated from the person reading our message. We do not immediately see their facial expression, body language, or reaction. This distance can make difficult conversations feel less intimidating.
Reduced Fear of Judgment. Imagine confessing something personal to someone sitting directly in front of you. You might worry about awkward silence, disappointment, anger, or judgment. Online, however, there is often time to think before responding. We can type, delete, rewrite, and carefully choose the words we want to use. In some cases, we can even remain completely anonymous.
Anonymity feels protected. It rids away fear of judgement, where you can be completely honest without worrying about what people think. People may feel that they can share their experiences without worrying about their identity, reputation, or relationship because they create a space where people can vent out their emotions. Without necessarily revealing who they are.
However, being anonymous does not always mean that online communication is completely safe. Personal information can be shared, screenshots can be taken, and anonymous posts can sometimes still be traced back to the people involved.
When Saying it in Person Feels Harder
Face-to-face conversations require vulnerability. Unlike online communication, there is no delete button or undo when words have already been spoken. We have to deal with immediate reactions, emotions, and sometimes uncomfortable silence.
A screen gives us a sense of control. We can decide when to respond, how much information to share, and when to step away. However, there are some risks to consider online. For instance, venting online feels good until it becomes addictive– you might start avoiding real-life emotional work and lead to feelings of insecurity.
There’s something valuable about talking to someone in person. Tone of voice, facial expressions, eye contact, and body language can communicate emotions that text sometimes cannot fully express. On the other hand, online confessions offer different kinds of comfort, courage, and confidence. Sometimes we need the distance of a screen before we are ready to be honest. Other times, we need the presence of another person to truly feel heard.
This is what Between Us is interested in exploring: the thoughts, feelings, and conversations that often remain somewhere between what we want to say and what we actually say. If you want to know more about this space and what it is all about, visit our About page.
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